I’m not pretending to be a writer or will never pretend to be one. This is simply a summary of what my first semester at Columbia has been like. There were goods and bads, but the good overcomes the bad in my case. After three months living in NYC I feel like I’ve grown not only intellectually but as an individual as well. I’ve learned to be, for the most part, independent and responsible. I went through some tough times, but I always had my friends to back me up when I needed it the most. So here goes a random rant as I head home on the airplane-
I’ve always thought that starting off with the bad is the best. It’s the best way to just get things over with. Besides, the good usually ends up compensating for all the previous “bad” things. Anyway, for the most part, there weren’t any “bad” situations. Most were unavoidable… I still remember telling my dear aunt Rosita (RIP) that I would go see her as soon as I returned home. I visited her the weekend before leaving. Plagued with cancer for 17 years, she was finally approaching the end; the doctors gave her only six months, it was her third. I hoped that I’d be back in time, and I now feel selfish knowing that I took visiting her again for granted. I guess I didn’t really understand the gravity of the situation, but my aunt died exactly six days ago. It was the worst day possible, the morning before finals, the day when I had to focus the most…
I woke up to my sister’s ringtone, thinking, “what can she possibly want,” only to hear her telling me my aunt was gone. It was such a shock; I really did not react for a couple of minutes. On one hand, I felt like I had to mourn for her, she was the closest person I had for a grandmother, and I hadn’t even been there to say goodbye. I remember tearing up for a couple of minutes, and then sucking it up to begin the day. I didn’t sleep for the next sixty hours, but now that I think about it, it wasn’t because I had three finals for the next three days… it was because I did not want to find myself alone thinking about her death. I was, for the most part, surrounded by my friends, and I wasn’t able to mourn her death until after finals. Now, as I head home, I can’t fill the hole that I have in my stomach, but I’m hoping my family will help me get through this in the next couple of weeks.
On another not so serious note, what else did I not like about this semester…? I admit it was hard getting accustomed to the new style of living, but I’m sure it was like this for everyone. I always knew, but didn’t realize, just how much time I’d have to dedicate to school. I’m sure my ASP buddies are still tired of listening to me whine about UT’s educational system, but, I think that sticking to Columbia will definitely benefit me the best in the future. I learned to appreciate the test scores I get, and for the first time ever, I DEPENDED on the curve. It’s a nice life lesson I guess. It’s nice to be challenged, but I learned that no matter how well or bad you do in something, there will always be that one person who tried harder, or didn’t do anything at all. Just focus on your stuff and you’ll do just fine.
Now for the good! J Well I could probably write another 600 words times two, but there really is no reason to. I love my ASP family, especially those that I’ve become attached to: Boucard, Chris, Darson, Siggles, Tyneshita… We’ve spent countless evenings studying together (how boring and uneventful), but in some occasions we’ve also been out to explore the city. Time Square, Chinatown, Midtown, Downtown, the Bronx! And there are still places we haven’t yet explored. I love my intended major, for now at least. I’ve learned to love my grades and effort. I’ve tried to not be so judgmental (t’s not working very well yet), and I’ve tried to lighten up a bit sometimes. Sometimes I might be a complete bitch, but I apologize.
Anyway, the juice cart is here! So that’s it for now. Remember to enjoy and cherish the three weeks you will be at home, if you are, and if you’re staying on campus; use your time to explore! If you’re religious, woo for baby Jesus! Sorry for my grammatical errors and horrible word choice. Remember, I’m a bilingual student in SEAS! :P Yummy orange juice! Toodles! <3